Author: Marion Fuller-Sessions

My blog has been so inactive that this will probably come as no surprise to anyone else, but I’ve been deliberating, delaying and so on for months… I have decided, reluctantly but I hope sensibly, to close down my blog in a few weeks’ time.

I have been trying not to think about this for ages. It is all part of the painful process of decluttering, downsizing, winding down that happens, if one is lucky enough to live long enough to have to face it.

But even more significant for me was John’s death in September 2020. He was always so supportive of themarionfsblog, so encouraging and of course my chief (and only) photographer. Of course I can’t blame John – or his absence – for my lack of spark, but merely acknowledge how important he was for me.

Before you start thinking what a miserable old soul I must be, I am actually coping pretty well, thanks to my lovely family, and friends near and far. I have only recently returned from a most wonderful seven weeks’ holiday in Australia (with a few days in Singapore en route) with Sara and Derek, and grandson Tom who is now a fine young man of 18 and planning to go to Sydney University next year.

Nearer to home is Ruth in London whose flat I more or less ‘use as a hotel’ – as parents were wont to complain of their young, perhaps rather than their mother. And of course, still in London but not quite just as convenient for St Pancras, are Sam and Nick, and their two absolute darlings, Nell (5) and Frank (nearly 14 months).

Meals, walks, bridge (still no improvement), trips and family holidays fill my time, plus – less attractively – taking stuff to charity shops or the tip, going through countless old files, diaries, photographs and what feels like tearing up my life. And taking the decision to close down my blog…

Even if rather silently so…

Well, I really am still here, and sorry I haven’t been very obviously alive. When I think about doing a blog post, there are so many things to say it is difficult to know where to start. So it’s only too easy to tackle something else that needs doing (in my defence, there is still a lot!).

But at last, here I am. In the nearly 18 months since John died (a close friend warns me it will be at least three years before one feels ‘normal’ again!) I have come to appreciate many things that I previously took for granted. One big thing is that as a couple, one is more than simply two people coexisting.

John was always very supportive and encouraging, and ages ago he would have been reminding me about writing another blog post, and probably offering up some photos if that would help…

So with only me to remind myself, anyway, here goes and it’s not instantly cheerful! We’re all just emerging from Storm Eunice, with more bad weather to come apparently. We are also tentatively emerging from nearly two years of Covid-19 restrictions, sadness and gloom. Newspapers are hardly cheery, with depressing headlines about global warming, Russia’s threats to Ukraine, enormous hikes to the cost of living.

However, closer to home, there is much to enjoy and be thankful for. And the big family news is the safe arrival on January 23rd – after a difficult birth – of Frank Johnny Jack, a son to Sam and Nick! Sam and Frank had to stay in hospital for a week, so poor Nick was shuttling between hospital and home, where big sister, Nell, aged 4 ½, was. Her aunt Ruthie fortunately had been able to ‘babysit’ Nell for the week – but neither was able to visit Sam and Frank in hospital and nor was I or his other granny.

I have since seen him twice. What a real, deep joy!

Meanwhile, since John’s death the support of family and some very very good friends – and neighbours – has been a real life-saver, as has WhatsUp, Zoom and online bridge (I seem to get steadily worse but we’ll gloss over that and my friends don’t see to mind too much…).

As I end, great fat fluffy snowflakes are fluttering steadily down. Eunice hasn’t finished yet!

And I’ll be back soon.