Downsizing Dos and Don’ts

As most of you know, we are (still) in the process of doewnsizing. It isn’t something done in a twinkling, because buying a smaller house is only part of the story which also includes lowering one’s horizons, downsizing one’s lifestyle.

Crown Cottage July 2017But that first, visible part of the process we have achieved and mostly happily, with the purchase of Crown Cottage, so we keep being asked for advice by friends who may well be looking for polite excuses not to contemplate the idea any further.

Anyway, here goes with some personal and far from expert thoughts that may or may not be relevant because very obviously everybody’s situation is different. So much will depend on personal priorities of health, family and financial situation and of course personal lifestyle but the general How, Where and When may apply to all.

MAKING COMPROMISES. Before we start, It is worth pointing out an awkward obvious. Many compromises are called for. If you are lucky enough to still have a partner their priorities may surprise you, and be rather different from your own. It is no good making decisions that one of you is never going to be happy with.

WHAT ARE YOUR PRIORITIES? Town or country? Two cars or one? What possessions can you do without? Do you still want to have friends to stay or perhaps you may like an excuse not to? What will their needs be if one of you is left living on their own? What are your children’s thought?

WHEN TO DOWNSIZE? Being practical/pessimistic, I’d say, do it sooner rather than later, while you are still in full control of the situation. Downsizing is difficult, physically and emotionally, even when you’re basically fit and healthy. You really wouldn’t want to be doing it feeling old and frail, or because circumstances had forced it, through ill health or bereavement, and none of us knows what is round the corner.

My sister Ruth’s devastating stroke at 70, when she was still fit, healthy and full of life and far from ‘old’ was my wake up call, and the realisation that we had to face a very reluctant decision to move from Orchard Farm, a big(ish) house and garden and two very successful holiday cottages all of which we loved, while things were still going really well.

HOW TO START DOWNSIZING? Having thought long and hard about your future needs and priorities, the first big step is selling your current house. Don’t start looking for your new one unless you can afford to buy it before you’ve sold your existing one otherwise therein lies inevitable disappointment and despair.

Make enquiries about good and reliable estate agents. They aren’t all either good or reliable; if you don’t know any ask friends and contacts for recommendations. We were very lucky to be able to choose one whom we already knew slightly personally who proved to be totally honest and upright and who guided us wisely throughout the whole process.

In our case initial tentative enquiries to local estate agents about valuations and a possible sale in a year or two led unexpectedly to a very quick sale, wonderful in many ways but handing over a successful holiday cottage business and packing up 30+ years of accumulated clutter in a few months was a nightmare.

A mountain of cardboard boxesWe simply couldn’t have done it without significant help from our young, and the many friends who at the end were physically wrapping and packing things up for us almost as we moved out.

WHERE TO MOVE TO? Next, you need to think long and hard about where you hope to move to. If you have family, they need to be part of the discussion because the time may come when you may need to rely on more support from them, and they will inevitably be busy people with demanding lives of their own.

If you’re lucky you can stay in the area where you already live. Your network of long term friends is important. It isn’t always easy to make new friends in a new place and it can take a while to feel accepted. And embarrassing as it may be to acknowledge it, driving may become a worry or a real problem eventually, so really you want to be within easy reach of a doctors’ surgery, shops and public transport and, ideally, a support network of good long term friends.

Crown Cottage gardenWHAT SORT OF HOUSE? The really brave may consider a retirement home, or a small flat. We couldn’t face that, as we felt we had to have a garden, even a tiny one, and we wanted still to be able to entertain friends and family. We made a clear check list of essential needs, and of course the house we fell in love with meets very few of these! It does have a lovely little garden though.

HOW? Fitting the proverbial quart into a pint pot doesn’t work.
We know, we’ve tried and failed.

Decluttering...Selling, giving away, charity shops, auction houses, car boot sales, Mari Kondo, skips, skips and more skips… This needs – and will shortly get – a whole blog post on its own.

I hope that gives you a reasonable idea of what to expect (or reject!). Good luck!

Published by

Marion Fuller-Sessions

Retired and downsized, and sadly now widowed, but keeping in touch with family and friends and friends far and wide via my blog

4 thoughts on “Downsizing Dos and Don’ts”

  1. So many wise words, Marion! I’ll certainly bear them in mind for the future, especially the ‘sooner rather than later’ which is hard when there seems no need to do anything in the near future (or ever….) You and John seem to have found a lovely spot though.

    1. That was quick, Marilyn, and how lovely to hear from you. We are loving having fewer responsibilities and more time. We wouldn’t have moved yet had we not had Tom’s and Douglas’s Barns to think about but it was lucky for us that we did. We wanted to sell them while they were still doing wonderfully well. It would have been a dreadful worry if one of us has had suddenly hit health problems while we were still busy with them. But don’t forget, you are much younger than us. Moving is exhausting, you really do need to be feeling strong!

  2. Marion, hi there! I simply must comment on this post because everything you say is so true! As you know we’ve downsized from a 3-bed terraced house to a 2-bed retirement flat. As a result we didn’t have quite the same problem as you did, but even so we seemed to have a lot of things. Hence we de-cluttered accumulated stuff, got rid of furniture and as for my clothes and hats (!) yes, charity shops benefitted mightily! But your point about doing it earlier rather than later is so pertinent. I consider myself quite fit for my age (71) but the physical toll moving takes is enormous. It is exhausting and the bones and joints ache, the muscles are strained and the back becomes fragile. At the end of moving day I could barely walk and I’m someone who does 7-10,000 steps a day no problem. And can I remind people the most tiring aspect of it all is not the packing and moving – it’s the unpacking!

    Anyway, we’re here and despite the physical trauma it has so obviously been the right thing to do. We’re going to be very happy here. But I totally support your point that down-sizing can only be done when you’re fit and well.

    1. Penny, that is so good to hear from you – welcome to the exhausted-but-pleased downsizers club! I have been wondering how you were getting on and it sounds rather better than us. We still have unpacked cardboard boxes, with nowhere to empty them. A much needed new kitchen cupboard comes tomorrow, so more temporary chaos, then very much more chaos when we have builders in to create a downstairs loo and more storage space in the small barn (shed) next door to the kitchen.
      Hope your back and bones feel restored, it took me several months, looking back. Hope also your hat supply is not too dimished.
      Good luck, and look forward to hearing more about your new life!

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